For the Sake of Privacy

I have always been a private person.   At times, however, I have found myself to be overly trusting, subsequently divulging too much information that I later wished I had kept to myself.   When Facebook was first created in the mid 2000s, I couldn’t wait to join and I jumped at the chance the minute I had an .edu address – this was back when you had to be enrolled in college to be on Facebook.   Clearly a lot has changed since then and it was about three years ago that I decided to deactivate my account, never looking back. 

When Twitter was created, I found it to be useless and even more overindulgent than Facebook.  Needless to say, I don’t have a Twitter account although with my marketing degree, I can appreciate its range when it comes to business.   I should never say never, but I am pretty confident that I will not become a tweeter.   

When I started blogging, it was for the sake of wanting to write and at the same time selectively share snippets of my life.   Yet, at times I find myself wanting to quit since it still makes me uncomfortable having my life out in the open.    So here I am…I can say that I have reached a point at which I am willing to compromise.   I think at times it is good to put ourselves somewhere slightly outside our comfort zone and in a position for growth.  

I have really enjoyed writing and I will continue to write about my life because it is what I enjoy writing about.   Nevertheless, I am going to continue to be selective in my choices and I hope that is ok with everyone reading.    

After a few days of unpacking and getting settled in, the boys are away on a trip and I am safe and sound in my new apartment with my wonderful new roommate who is also a baseball wife.   The furry babies are acclimating more beautifully than I could have ever imagined and I am happier than ever.  It may sound crazy given that my whole life has done a 180, but I am at such peace with where I am right now and with my 25th birthday a few months away, I am right where I want to be.  

In baseball the home is where the husband is and I never thought I would say that, but I feel it to be 100% true.   

For Better or For Worse, Through Sickness and In Health

Ok… so my ellipsis turned out to be slightly shorter than anticipated, yet as I’m finalizing my epic move, I found myself missing my blog posts.  A week originally seemed like a long time to go without writing, but now I know it is more like an eternity.   Alright, eternity is an exaggeration, but I’ve been really missing it.

Nevertheless, I am only checking in to write a short post and actually share something special I came across when looking back at my wedding website and pictures.   The day that David and I made our vows, we promised to one another, that we would always be there for each other.   That no matter what, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, I will stand my his side and I know he will mine.  In a time when vows have little meaning and people are quick to divorce at the instant something goes wrong, I feel strongly that times will change.   I hope the days of annulments, 15, 30, 70, even 360 day marriages are soon behind us.   It is because of my faith and my belief in a promise, that I know David and I will never fall into the dreaded statistic.   

After reading The Vow and watching the movie twice, I have realized even more that vows mean something.   That even though times can get tough and with a twist of fate, unimaginable, breaking that promise is never the answer.   I truly hope that my generation will find value and meaning in the words of their vows and that in time, the 50/50 statistic will diminish.  

Below is a blurb my mother was kind enough to write for David and my wedding website.   I came across it a few days ago and it made me smile and reminisce.  I wanted to share it with you all.   I hope you enjoy.  

“She lifted her face to him, and he bent forward and kissed her on the mouth, gently, with the one kiss that is an eternal pledge.   February 6th, 2011 will forever mark the union of two hearts fully evolved into one soul.  Camille and David came together at the tender age of fourteen, while in the eighth grade at Grandview Preparatory School.  A fairy tale of sorts, their relationship endured the challenges of youth, skepticism and long distance.  Unconditional love and devotion took them to places where they both only dreamed of, where they will dwell for a lifetime of happiness, sheltered in the warmth of each other’s arms.  

Within this blessed union of souls, where two hearts intertwine to become one, there lies a promise. Perfectly born, divinely created, and intimately shared, it is a place where the hope and majesty of beginnings reside – where all things are made possible by the astounding love shared by two spirits. What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel they are joined for life to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to support each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silence!  On their eight-year anniversary, David gallantly asked Camille’s parents for her hand in marriage prior to a gentle and loving private proposal.

Two hearts with one soul, Camille and David were meant to be High School Sweet Hearts now and forever more.  Living their dream has shattered all doubts as they maintained their faith, vision, determination, dedication, and unwavering love, attesting that all things are possible for those who believe!”

 

The Ellipsis

As the countdown to my move continues, I will be taking a short break from blogging.   I am going to resume writing upon my arrival in New Jersey but I wanted to leave you with a few positive affirmations from Christ’s Letters… these are great lessons to follow regardless of the phase in your life.

“The loyalty, kindness and generosity you would like to receive when in trouble – give to others when they are struggling with heavy burdens.  Never turn to them a cold shoulder.”

“Give acceptance and forgiveness you would like to receive.  What is true forgiveness?  It is a state of understanding the other person and their reasons for their behavior so clearly that you can say in all honesty – there is nothing to forgive.”

“If someone wants to tell you how you have hurt them at any time – stand or sit still quietly and know that this is a true challenge to your ego-drive.  This is your big moment – your greatest testing-point.    How will you handle it?  Will you make excuses and defend yourself, considering, even saying, that your actions should not have hurt the other person – and were fully justified in the circumstances?  If this is how you respond, then your ego-drive is still in perfect control of your consciousness.”

Much love and blessings.  

See you in a week. 

Do You Think Athletes Make Too Much Money?

When I was younger, I used to think that Entertainers and Athletes made absurd amounts of money and felt that it was unnecessary.   As I grew up and took a few business classes, including economics, I realized that there is a reason to the madness.    I decided to write about this subject because although David and I are still moving through the Minor Leagues, and the pay at these levels are a fraction of what you make in the Major Leagues, we aspire to be part of the elite.   Honestly, there is a part of you that feels guilt for having the opportunity to make more money than 99% of Americans, but there is also an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for being able to make a difference through your successes.

Fortunately, David and I are on the same page about how we would like to use our newfound fortune for good.   Note, that I am forced to speak in hypotheticals at the moment because David and I are still fighting for a position on a Major League roster – and yes, “He” shall be “WE,” because behind every great man is a great woman.  😉   I found this amazing article that explains why athletes are not overpaid better than I ever could and it is included below.   There are a few things however, that I would like to address prior to concluding.   When you think that athletes have it sooooo easy, here is a list of things to remember from an insider’s perspective:

1. They are just one injury away from losing their entire career.

2. They have to spend nearly half the year away from their families.

3. When their wives have children in-season, they get a maximum of three days off to spend with their newborn.

4. Their careers last an average of 10 years depending on the sport.  Most will be required to retire before the age of 33.

5. Nearly 80% declare bankruptcy and divorce after retirement – The unfortunate reality of a MAJOR life change.

6. Living a life in the spotlight isn’t always welcome.  Athletes just want to do what they love, the celebrity is a byproduct and not necessarily sought after.

7. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice….the entire family of an athlete has to make sacrifices in order to see their husband/father/son fulfill his highest aspirations.

8. Nearly all athletes have a charity that they raise money for and often do hundreds of community service hours yearly.

Above are merely a few snippets of the REALITY that is living the life of a professional athlete.  Sure, there is a lot to love and much to enjoy, but don’t ever forget that money doesn’t buy happiness.   What must truly fulfill these athletes is the love for what they do, philanthropy and ultimately faith.   For it is those that find consolation in these things, that live fulfilled lives beyond the playing field.

And now here is the article that I mentioned above (note salaries have changed since this was written):

by Jeffrey Guerrero

Created on: February 22, 2011

“In my opinion, professional athletes are paid what they deserve. Many may say that firefighters, law enforcement, teachers, and all those that are a necessity for society should be paid like athletes. With the utmost respect, I believe that they should not be paid any where close to what athletes make. I’m not saying that these people that help keep society running aren’t deserving of a better salary; by all means, they are perhaps the people that deserve it the most, but there is just not enough money being generated to specifically support them.

American professional sports leagues have a $25-35 billion dollar revenue. It is just completely outlandish to even consider raising a normal citizen’s salary by hundreds of thousands of dollars, unless the entire nation would like to have their taxes raised by a ridiculously large amount.

It is easy to see why many people want to be a critic of famous athletes for making so much money when the average annual salary for an American is around 35,000 dollars. When you compare this to the bare minimum salaries of leagues (NFL-285,000   NBA-385,000   MLB-400,000   NHL-500,000), average Americans have every right to be envious, but nothing more. Athletes should not be condemned for making lots of money nor should they be denounced because of lack of work ethic, generosity, or because of the absurd idea that they don’t deserve it.

The incredible work ethic of any professional athlete is absolutely unsurpassed. They are the best in the world at what they do, and that doesn’t come from just shear ability. They hone their skills every single day until it becomes second nature to them, then; they continue to work to stay at their peak performance. Although they are the most physically fit people in the world, there is a constant pressure to keep your production level as high as possible, because thousands are always fighting their hardest to fulfill a life-long dream to be a part of the elite.

One of the most popular reasons for people to be critical of pros is that they have all kinds of money, but are too greedy to give any of it up. In reality, however, it is the exact opposite. Millions of dollars are paid out-of-pocket by athletes and other entertainers to charities every year. Even the now, not-so-popular Tiger Woods, who recently became the first ever billion-dollar athlete (perhaps only half that now) has given a staggering 9.5 million dollars to a learning center and scholarship fund. Hundreds of others also create their own funds, charities, scholarships, etc. Almost everyone that becomes a pro athlete or makes some money by doing a movie goes back, usually to their hometown to make drastic improvements. They all do this to repay the community they used to call home, whether it was neat or corrupt.

If, after reading this, you are still doubtful of the worthiness of a world-class athlete, then I make this one last request. Try not to turn on your TV, buy any sports memorabilia, or attend any type of sporting event ever again; otherwise, you’d be supporting the ones you condemn. However, since this is nearly impossible, just accept the fact that pro athletes of all kinds; due to the inevitable concepts of consumerism and supply-and-demand, earn the money they receive.”

Here is a link to a debate in which various views are addressed by different writers:  http://www.helium.com/debates/125438-are-professional-athletes-overpaid – feel free to make your own assertions.

And as always – thank you for reading!

AHHHHH!!! Milestone Move

Perhaps listing the milestone tracker on my page, giving me a constant reminder of how quickly the days pass by, was a bad idea.   Every time I look at the calendar I realize how fast my move date is approaching.   Between the start of the season and the move, I’m starting to seriously stress!  I normally do well under pressure, or I should say, moderately well, but this is different.

In just over a week, everything about my life will have changed.  I think the most overwhelming of all is the fact that I will be leaving Miami, the only city I have ever called home, to embark on a two day journey towards the Northeast.   My mind is racing and I have been eating everything in sight!  Luckily I am a good sleeper and rarely suffer periods of insomnia, so I can tell you that I am sleeping well – that is, when Charlie isn’t on top of me despite having an entire KING size bed to share!  Dogs!

I have been packing a little at a time and I’ve already taken a bunch of stuff to my parents’ house, whom have kindly offered a spare bedroom up as storage.   Still, I look around and there is so much left to do.   I have a knack for exaggerating things in my head, only to have everything actually take place much more smoothly, so I am sure it will all be just fine.  I think I need to get a massage and relax before my neck starts locking up!

On a side note, the Thunder got off to a rocky start their first two games but are pulling it together nicely.  David is still working out a few things after nearly two years out of the game, but I am confident he will have a successful season.  So much of baseball is mental and I am actually hoping that having me around is going to put him in an even better state of mind.

God willing, this will be the first, of many moves I make across multiple state lines.   I am optimistic that it will only get easier from here on out.

Adapt or Die

For the first time since David was drafted in 2008, I have come to realize how easily teammates come and go.  I had the chance to meet and get to know guys that David has played with that suddenly, with no warning, were released by the organization.    The most promising players are usually signed by another team, but most in the minor leagues don’t experience the same fate.   This harsh reality became even more apparent when I attended the Professional Athletes Outreach conference for players’ wives and we all introduced ourselves, sharing our husbands’ names, years in the organization, and how many teams we have been with.

Fortunately, David has not had to adjust after a trade or worry about being released.    This is a fact that is not, at all, taken for granted.   It was only two years ago that David was a physical away from becoming a Mariner and had he been 100% healthy a few months ago, he may have been included in a deal, yet again.   With David on the 40-Man and with a major logjam at 2nd base, the possibility for a trade is high.   I would love nothing more than for David to be a franchise player, in pinstripes until his retirement, but I also know that very few people have the opportunity to say that.

I texted David earlier today saying how remarkable the amount of change that one can, and at times, must experience in the world of baseball and in true David fashion, his quick retort was “have to adapt.”   His response led me to the realization that you must adapt or die.   Of course I use the word “die” metaphorically, because if you cannot adapt, you will simply fade away and lose the opportunities afforded to you in this life.   This is a lesson that can be applied to everyone, in every situation.

This revelation is not unlike the laws of evolution, where the species that adapted and evolved survived, and the ones that couldn’t, died off.    I am not the biggest advocate of change, but that being said, I tend to take to it quite well.   I have come to understand that regardless of the circumstance, the challenges we face are the ones that provide the greatest returns.

Whatever our future holds, we are ready and able to adapt like champs!

Why Black Cats Rock!!!

I have been sitting in bed for the past few hours watching Animal Planet’s “My Cat from Hell,” and as I watch all these cats with behavioral concerns I becoming increasingly grateful for the amazing kitties I have.    I also realize that our upcoming move, which is fast approaching, is going to prove difficult for them.  I am trying to stay positive however, in hopes that the cats take comfort in being with me, and each other during the major adjustment.

The main reason I wanted to write this blog is because I have three black cats and I wanted a chance to address the stigmas associated with these loving animals.   For centuries, black cats have had a distinct reputation differentiating them from other breeds.  In truth, these cats are just like every other, and in many ways they are even more amazing.

 

It is a known fact that black cats and dogs are the last to be adopted at shelters and the most often to be euthanized.   There are many reasons why this is the case, but mostly, people think that black animals are dull and unexciting.   I can tell you that I, myself, happen to LOVE Bengal and Tabby cats, with unique markings and colorings, but there is a special beauty that I see in black cats.

 

Despite my bias, my babies are some of the sweetest that I’ve ever met.   They are super friendly, quite vocal, and incredibly playful.   Every time I take my cats to the vet or have company, I am told that they are beautiful and super sweet.    I never have to worry about them fighting with each other, Charlie, or biting any of my house guests – except for the occasional love bite.

 

In doing research on the topic, I found this interesting study that shows that cat temperament can be closely associated with coat color.  This is because both traits are genetic and as such tend to carry together.   This same study shows that Black and Black-and-White cats tend to have the best temperament and greatest overall health.   I can tell you that based on my experience I would have to agree with this study.  I have rescued MANY cats and still, black cats are among my favorites.  I’m blessed with their love; they are the most amazing cats and get along beautifully with one another, and with my, giant-in-comparison, dog, Charlie.

 

If you’re ever in the market to adopt a cat, I would HIGHLY recommend a black or black-and-white cat.  Before concluding, I want to note I am not saying that black cats are immune to behavioral issues or that other breeds are inferior, I am simply saying that black cats should not be ostracized and that you should definitely give them a chance!  I promise they won’t jinx you, in fact, I think they are good luck.  🙂

 

I have included a few pictures of my babies for your viewing pleasure and a link to the article I referred to above.  (From top to bottom; Blade, Julius, Tara).

Is Coat Color Linked to Temperament? 

 

David Adams back in the Game!!!

It always warms my heart to know that I have helped my husband stay positive despite the whirlwind that has been our lives the past few years.  When David was injured back in 2010, we thought the injury would take a few weeks at most to heal, but when weeks turned into months and months turned into a year and then eventually a year and a half, the situation bore more than most could have anticipated.   In the time since his injury so much has happened; we got married, moved twice, almost got traded to the Mariners, he was added – much to our surprise- to the 2012 40-Man Roster, etc.

As a couple, the past few years have helped us grow stronger, wiser, and more grateful for gifts we have in one another and in our families.   As a player, David has grown more patient and simultaneously hungrier.  He is ready for an amazing season, which he will be starting at Waterfront Park in Trenton, NJ as the second baseman for the Trenton Thunder.  I will be moving in a few weeks to support him because as a married couple we are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin.   Despite his crazy schedule during the season, we will have the opportunity to live as married couples should live, together.  I will be there to support him, which I believe will make him an even better ballplayer.

David doesn’t really like when I read everything the media says but once in a while you get a few great articles and the occasional shout out to the wife. 🙂  I have included the links below if you are interested in reading them.   We are very excited for this new chapter to begin and the chance to look back at everything we have endured along the way and smile, because it made us stronger.

THUNDER: Finally, Adams’ road to recovery ends Thursday

Trenton Thunder infielder David Adams returns after a long journey

Adams Hopes to Stay Healthy, Return to Form in 2012


Welcome to My Alternate Reality

When you are married to a professional athlete and your life revolves around a sport, you feel like you are in an alternate reality and in many ways, you are.   Baseball is a sport unlike most, one in which you can be drafted as many as four times, and sometimes never play with the “Big Team.”  This is something that most people have a hard time comprehending due to the complexity of the Minor League Baseball Organization, AKA the Farm System.

When I try to explain the lifestyle that I live and the way the organization works, few can understand.   I am often asked the same questions over and over again, ultimately feeling like a broken record.   Truth is, most will never know or even begin to grasp what the life of a professional athlete and their family entails.   You can liken us to a different species, a breed all on our own.

For athletes and their wives, days, or even weeks apart is normal, moving on a whim is expected, and spending more than half the year in hotels is typical.    Many wives are successful in their own right, but most put their careers on hold in favor of their husband’s.   The Major Leagues offer more normalcy than the Minor Leagues in various ways, and I can tell you that having the higher income makes for a MUCH more manageable life, but regardless of where you are, this life is one of many trials.

This year I am moving with another married couple and a single, soon-to-be engaged player in order to save money.  I will have a total of three roommates, not including my husband and our four-legged children.  At the end of the day, if the guys are home for more than 15 days a month, that’s a lot.   There is no reason to have our own apartment when I will be alone the majority of the time anyway.  When I explained my living arrangements to my friends they were taken off guard.    To most people, being married and having roommates is “strange” to say the least, but to be perfectly frank, having roommates is the least of the unusual circumstances.

When David and I got married he came home for the weekend and left the day after the wedding.   We didn’t have a honeymoon like most couples, until nearly a year later.   We spent the first six months of marriage apart and I think I saw him a handful of times for 24-48 hours at a time.   Our marriage was not at all typical and to say that I wasn’t slightly disappointed would be a lie.  It was hard being married and feeling like nothing had changed; there is no denying that.    You feel like the day that you make your vows to one another should be the day that you can no longer be without each other, still, in this life you are apart as often as you are together and the only way that isn’t the case is if you can afford to live out of a hotel half the year and rent/own a house at the same time.

It goes without saying that everything I have explained above excludes the complexity that comes into play once you have children.   I can’t speak to that experience but when I have kids I am sure I will.   I definitely want to wait a few years to take that next step and ideally, once David has a secure job in the Majors. Nevertheless, “ideally” is hardly relevant in this life.   Right now we are just living day by day, working hard to make David’s lifelong dream of playing 10+ years in the Major Leagues a reality.