The “Cinderella” Story as Written by Courtney Johnson

I am so excited to share this post with all of you today. Yesterday I had the pleasure of connecting with a wonderful baseball wife who felt led to share her deepest thoughts and emotions with our baseball family.  Courtney very bravely posted the piece below on a private group we have for baseball wives and girlfriends and the response she received was heartwarming.  So many women, including myself, were incredibly moved by what she had to say.

Even though we are all at different points in our journey, the baseball community shares many of the same emotional, psychological and lastly, physical struggles. This very special life we lead is one of many blessings, but it also comes with many hardships that most will never see or understand.  Many wives commented that they were in tears after reading Courtney’s post and I can say that I had a hard time reading it myself.  I was overwhelmed with emotions that run deep despite my pregnancy hormones. I urge you to take a moment to read the beautifully written piece below;  It will give many a little insight into our baseball lives. Without further ado…

“There’s no Cinderella’s in baseball. Who you are and what you are will show itself sooner or later.” The past week has been one of the toughest for me emotionally. Of course it doesn’t help that I have the hormones of a typhoon raging within, either. But if I were a betting lady I’d be willing to bet that these emotions would be here regardless of the growth of little one. If there is one thing I have come to respect about my husband, it’s that he has the determination of a mule. When you take something from him that he is passionate about, you better get strapped in and buckle down for the ride. Because he’s about to prove himself in ways you didn’t even know existed. Baseball is his first love. The feel of the ball between his fingers, the smell of the grass on the field, the feel of the dirt on the mound, the rush of a setup and the motion of the pitch. All of this is second nature to him. It’s in his blood. In his soul. He has worked harder than I ever contemplated working in his 26 years on this earth. He has sacrificed more sweat and tears than I can count. In 2010 he was drafted into affiliated ball. A dream come true. A dream that suddenly went from one of pure love to one of pure agony. Most people have no idea what a minor leaguer goes through. Believe me, I know there are people out there that literally give up their lives for another. I respect that completely. But there’s something to be said for a guy who puts his life on pause for a game he loves. He packs his stuff, drives off with his family behind, stays in hotels that you wouldn’t even think about stopping at, sleeps on busses for 10-18 hours while traveling to the next field, grinds day in and day out working his body to maximum potentials and fights to keep a job every day because there are others out there hunting for it. Then turns to the fans, smiles, waves and signs balls or cards with a smile on his face and a pep in his step; hiding the strain and tiredness that the 5th cup of coffee he just poured himself is trying to hide. His bank account gets the $7-850 deposit every two weeks and his bills slowly pile because there is no such thing as a paycheck in the offseason. All for a dream. A dream to get to where every ball player wants to be. Then one day you find yourself sitting on the couch, almost 6 years later, baseball-less. I always wondered what this day would feel like and I must say, it feels a lot like an unexpected breakup with a first love. After all, that’s basically what it is. The “my feelings have changed” emptiness of questions that you have at the moment you are no longer in a relationship take over. And like all of our first breakups, the first days are hard. Emotional. Aggravating. As each day passes, the numbness fades and things get better. That’s what the initial seconds of the “I’ve been released” moment feels like. Gut wrenching, sword in the stomach pain. That was almost 2 weeks ago. What I love about my husband is that he hasn’t crawled into a dark space and felt sorry for himself. He hasn’t even gotten so angry that he made irrationally destructive decisions. Nope. He takes it to the mound. He continues to work hard and train. We may be crazy, but we are Noah. I’m sure most people thought he was insane, literally, when he began constructing the ark. I mean who builds a boat for animals, when you’ve never even seen rain? I’ll tell you who. A man who heard His God speak. A man who listened. A man who prepared his field, no matter the cost. Last season, this same time, we were walking through a miscarriage. Now, we are anxiously waiting the birth of our precious Addelyn. No matter what comes, her tiny life will not be taken for granted because we know what it feels like to lose one. Now, a year later, we walk through a release. A death in some sense. We learned last year that the beauty of it is new life always comes next. We have no idea what tomorrow brings. We really don’t even know what the next minute brings. But the one thing we do know is that baseball is not over. And when he gets the opportunity he has worked so hard for, it will not be taken for granted. All that He requires of us is faith as tiny as a mustard seed. Even if what He has called you to do seems so incredibly out of reach, if you believe He can and will provide what you need to fulfill your calling, that He has given, He will give it. So just as the farmer prepared his field for rain, believing His God would bring it, we too prepare our field for the next step. We must always be ready for the opportunity to fulfill The Divine Calling to come. Because if we aren’t, it will never be as powerful as it was intended to be and we might even miss it. One day we will look back on this and see how all of those grungy nights on a bus or sleeping in a bed that most wouldn’t even sit on, the strain, the stress, the pay that seems like nothing and every second of the struggle, the preparation and the wait will all be worth it. Not because he made the show. No, because he obeyed the calling.

Brevity

I used to write long, drawn out posts in which I consciously illustrated my life on this blog weekly and now brevity is my theme.  I promised I would fill you in as to why I have been MIA – and I do mean “missing in action.”  Aside from the fact that I am now a mother and my baby is pretty much my life moving forward, I have also had a lot of change taking place.

This year has been an interesting one for my family and while David continues to pursue the very unstable life of a baseball player, I have come to realize that our son needs more stability than the baseball life can give him right now.  That being said, David and I made the very hard decision to take a break from traveling together. Although it is extremely difficult and heartbreaking having my husband and his son living in two very distant places, it seemed the best decision for all of us.

Subsequently, I have decided to go back to work.  Many of you may already know that I have been a licensed realtor since 2006 and after being a stay at home wife and mommy – to furry babies and now Jethro – for over two years, the time has come for me to go back to work.  This decision, albeit not entirely easy, felt like the wisest investment of my time spent at home. I am starting to realize that even though being a mother is the most rewarding job on the planet, I need more than that to feel complete.  Since being home I have literally gone crazy decorating, adding flowers to my landscape and going slightly overboard on the amount of bird feeders necessary to feed the bird population. Clearly, I could either keep spending money trying to keep myself busy, or I could put my extra energy into something more productive and less expensive, like selling real estate.  🙂

At first I wasn’t so sure how happy I would be going back to work but now I am very excited. I feel like this is the direction the universe wants me to go and so I have decided to go with the flow…

Crying baby! Time to go!

xoxo

Turning the Page

It has been a solid seven months since I have written a post.  A lot has transpired in my life since then and I can honestly say that I feel the presence of God in my life more than ever.  Since I last checked in, David and I bought a house, David became a Cleveland Indian, – farewell NYY – we welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world, and just yesterday, we celebrated another amazing year of marriage.

Now that I am the mama to my own offspring – not just four legged furry babies – my life is consumed by poopy diapers, spit up and lack of sleep, all of which do not hold a candle to the love that I have for my little man. Believe it or not, what most people find “yucky”, I find truly gratifying. There’s nothing like seeing a nice poopy diaper and celebrating that your baby’s digestive system is working efficiently.  But enough about the favorite topic of new parents – poo – and onto what my goals are for this blog in 2014. I can’t promise that I will have the time to contribute to this blog the way I have in years past, but I will try to document my experiences as a mother while living the life of a baseball wife.

Moving forward I plan on sharing my favorite mommy products, taking into account how much we travel. As unconventional a lifestyle as we live, our son will also have to be raised in a rather unconventional way – we have learned to adapt and so will he.

Next up: Flying for the first time with a 3 month old.

Three Cats and a Dog 2.0

I remember being in a similar situation a year ago, prior to having spent a full baseball season with David and even before knowing what it would be like to travel with our furry babies. For many reasons, however, I stand today unsure of what to do about our four-legged children this coming season.  Last year proved traveling with our mini zoo to be much easier than I would have imagined, so why am I still on the fence? Ha – totally unintentional pun. 😉

One of our three cats, Julius.

Well, when we left to report for Spring Training last weekend, leaving the babies felt more like abandoning them than a temporary arrangement – despite the pet haven that is my parents’ house. Truthfully, I am not sure if this separation results in more anxiety for them or me.  Our babies seem happy as can be with my parents, yet I still feel like I am neglecting the parental responsibilities I owe my adopted family. I can’t truly say whether or not they are happier with their mommy and daddy, despite the living arrangements, or if a stable environment trumps the love they have for David and me. I just feel like six months is a long time to be apart from your pets – after all, it is more like 3.5 years from their perspective.

As of right now, David and I are very much leaning in the direction of taking our animals with us regardless of the obstacles that we may face with housing and traveling; we see it as a small price to pay for the unconditional love and companionship that they so selflessly provide us.  In the mean time, we are traveling back and forth between Tampa and Miami every weekend possible to spend some time with our children. Coming back home to them yesterday, after five whole days apart, made my heart smile. 🙂

Another year, another season

I can’t even begin to tell you how fast the off-season came and went. In a week’s time David and I will be moving to Tampa to report for Spring Training.

Much to my relief, we were able to find a fully furnished apartment to lay down our roots for a whopping 2.5 months prior to the commencement of the regular season. I’m actually very excited just knowing that we will have a fully furnished home – to ourselves – for the entirety of Spring Training.

I feel strongly that this off-season has been a time of cleansing. Much has happened and even though we don’t have clear answers to all the whys, we know that the Almighty has a plan in mind. There is a sense of peace that has come over me and in a world where nothing is certain, that is all I can ask for. I have learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I acknowledge Him, and he will make straight my paths. Proverbs 3:5-6.

So with that in mind, David and I have few expectations for this season. We have set goals for ourselves but we know that whatever happens is for the best and for a greater purpose. We are handing over any worries to He who strengthens us, allowing God to be our refuge and our fortress. Psalms 91.

See you in Tampa!

God bless,

Camille

Honesty: the off-season blues

I’m going to level with you all. I was going to sit on this post given I’m a little more emotional than usual but I guess I’ve become rather fearless when it comes to putting myself out there. For me, honesty is the best policy and while I happen to love my life, it isn’t always peaches and cream. This blog is basically my innermost thoughts – no reservations – so here goes. I think we can all agree that life has its struggles. I also happen to believe that anything worth having is worth waiting for and, not to mention, fighting for. The old saying, “if it were easy, everyone would do it” is also relevant here. Any similar cliché you could think of, well, it fits.

Getting to my point, this baseball lifestyle is anything but easy. It’s good to remind yourself that the grass isn’t greener on the other side and while I wouldn’t change my life for anything, it surely isn’t without challenges. This past year was probably one of the most eye-opening for me. I learned invaluable lessons and with it, I grew as a woman and as a wife. I can also say with certainty that I have matured tenfold. And while I will only continue to grow and mature as years pass, there’s one thing I can’t deny, baseball makes you grow up – fast.

Every time I meet someone new or I catch up with old friends, I am asked 21 questions about how my life has been. No matter how many times I have answered the same questions over and over, I can always bet that the questions will come, I will answer them, and still leave most perplexed. This is my life. It is daunting to most and it is absolutely draining for those who actually live it.

Sometimes I look at my beloved husband and I wonder how he does it. I have actually asked him whether playing baseball gets old right around game 100, or if the long and uncomfortable bus rides become unbearable half way through the season. When this question actually escaped me, his honest answer was no. He reminded me just how much he loves what he does and how he could easily play baseball every single day for years to come.

So then my mind circles back around to where that leaves me. It is really easy while living this lifestyle to lose your sense of self. I remind myself every day why I am here. The simple answer is, my husband. When I think I can no longer attend another baseball game this year or I’m drained from the hectic schedule, I seek consolation in the fact that this makes the man I married as happy as a child. I also remind myself that this Minor League lifestyle will only last so long. The big paycheck will come one day, and with it more security, although, probably not more stability.

This is the first off-season that I haven’t been employed and aside from my freelance work, my only job is to take care of my household. I was beyond ready for the 2012 season to come to an end right around the halfway point, but now that it’s here, I am stir-crazy. I think the hardest part about the off-season is the wait. There really is no job security in baseball and every fall we have to wait it out and see what job offer will come.

This is the harsh reality of baseball that the fans don’t really see. Imagine – everyone is anxiously waiting to see what unfolds with the 2013 New York Yankees, well now imagine you are part of the organization. Imagine wondering if the Yankees are going to include you on the 40-Man roster or if another team will pick you up. Will there be a trade that sends you cross-country or is this the end of the road? This is what it’s like as a baseball player and his wife/gf.

The uncertainty can drive anyone mad. All a baseball player can do in the off-season is work hard, get in shape and be ready to perform when the call is made. Sure, you have the A-rods of the world who have long-term deals, but that is the minority and it doesn’t come with any less pressure. When you sign on the dotted line and you receive a big contract, there are expectations you want to meet and, when possible, exceed.

It never really gets easier. I’m excited to head back to Arizona in a week, but I know what my routine will be: wake up, make breakfast for David, drop him off at the field, go back home, shower, get ready for the game, attend the game, wait for David to shower, do rehab and come out, head home, eat, go to sleep – then do it all over again. This is what day-to-day is like when I’m with David during baseball season. I’m not saying it’s a HARD life; please don’t misconstrue what I mean. This life has myriad blessings and we are ever grateful that God chose it for us, but it is emotionally draining.

OK, so I guess I’m just experiencing the off-season blues. Is that a thing? Truthfully, I think I just miss David. Although I’m not excited to get back on that big bulky metal contraption that defies gravity at 50,000 ft in the air, I’m beyond ready to get back out to Arizona and be with my man. After what felt like a million years of long distance angst, we are finally two hearts that are one, forever more, and I love it. I think David would say the same. I know he misses me and is eager for me to get back out there and be by his side. I may complain that attending a million baseball games a year gets old, but at the end of the day, I love it. I love my husband and I love baseball and ultimately, I love my life. So while this life doesn’t get any less exhausting or any more stable, it is part of who David and I are and the people we have become. I may need a full time nanny when I have babies, but if that’s as bad as it gets, I’ll take it any day of the week. 😉

Arizona, here come the Adams Family. (Feel free to snap)

Wow, I cannot believe the season is almost over.   It feels like just yesterday that the zoo and I made the 18-hour trip up the east coast.   With only a few games left of the Minor League regular season, we are no longer counting months or weeks, rather, we are now counting days.   Fortunately for us, the Trenton Thunder clinched a spot in playoffs – we actually won our division tonight! – postponing our trip home until further notice.

At this point I haven’t even started packing because there is still so much that is unknown. Despite all the uncertainty surrounding the end of the season, one thing I do know for sure is that David’s baseball season will not be ending any time soon. It has officially been announced (since you are privy to this information I am open to writing about it) that he will be one of the players to represent the Yankees in the Arizona Fall League. David and I haven’t discussed it in detail but I overheard he will be playing with the Scottsdale Scorpions.  I can be a bit oblivious sometimes but apparently, an invitation to the AFL is an honor, so while I would love to have him home those two months in the off-season, I am very excited for him.

This is totally irrelevant to anything manly but I’m excited about their colors. I love black and red combo, plus I can wear my Miami Heat gear and still match! 😉

When we first discussed our plans for the fall, I thought it best to move back home to Miami and wait out his return to Florida in November.  I am not sure if this has something to do with the two full moons that just occurred this month (yes, you read that correctly, TWO!! How cool!!! Aug 31 was a BLUE MOON!!!), but I have decided I just can’t be away from David that long.   Had we spoken a few years ago I would’ve told you I could easily survive the six weeks apart without a hitch, but I have become increasingly attached to being together – A fact that is kind of crazy considering we are celebrating 11 years of being together in October while being married less than two.  After that many years of dating, celebrating two anniversaries is in order, that is, until I start feeling really old.   Anyyy who, we usually spend several weeks apart every month during the season and that is hard enough as is.  Given my feelings as of late I can’t bear the thought of enduring six full weeks of a 2300-mile divide.

That being said, I have decided to spend AT LEAST two weeks in Arizona.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I will be there for more than two weeks as I am not sure of the details just yet, but I will be taking advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity.   In my 25 years of existence, I have visited much of the east coast, but I have barely seen any of what the western states have to offer.   I have heard that Arizona is beautiful so I am going to try and get the most out of my stay.   I fully plan on documenting my experiences in order to share it with all of my readers.  Hopefully I will have a lot of interesting information to write about.

Trenton Thunder fierce Cloud and Lightning bolt. Love this logo!

For now, we are focusing on winning the Eastern League Championship so we can pop some champagne.   In a matter of a few hours a lot of interesting moves have occurred now that September 1 call-ups are in effect.  With both the Trenton Thunder (AA) and the Empire State Yankees (AAA) in playoffs, we’ve had a TON of minor league movement.   Contrary to a lot of speculation, the Yankees do care about their minor league affiliates and they are making all the necessary moves to put a ring on it.   Although we will miss several of the regular starters headed to AAA, I am excited to see how the team will blend together with many young new faces in the line up.  Hopefully next time I write I can report that we have won!   Zipping my mouth until then in hopes that I don’t jinx anything.   After all, baseball is riddled with superstitions!

GOOOOOOOOO YANKEES!!!!!!

Next to every great man is an even greater woman…didn’t you know?

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It’s about time that I share with all my amazing readers a little perspective about the lives of baseball players’ wives.    Behind the scenes in baseball, there is strong group of women who stand tall beside the men they support, all while enduring a very illusive lifestyle.   I say illusive because, as with most fame driven careers, people feel they own the rights to you and they somehow think they know everything about the lifestyle you lead, when in fact- they have no idea.

What is most amazing about this life is the butterfly effect.   While the only person who is really “famous” (I use that word lightly but I actually find it repulsive) is the man on the field, his entire family feels the effects.    Whether it is the wife who waits at home for her husband to return from a very long road trip, or the children who can easily say that Daddy missed many important milestones, the entire family lives in a subsequent parallel universe.

The day that David and I got married, my father-in-law gave an amazing toast.   He expressed how elated he was to know that David had found a strong woman to accompany him along this journey.  He acknowledged the fact that this life is extremely difficult and that very few women would be able to “last” beside an athlete.    Being the wise man that my father-in-law is, he knew exactly what it meant for David and I to make a commitment to one another with baseball being such a huge part of our lives.    The truth is, being married to a baseball player is a challenge, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

As I am writing this post, my husband has already been at the field for several hours prepping for a 7PM game and I have been doing laundry in order to make sure that he has enough clean clothes for the next 7 days that he is on the road.   Typically, David spends 11-12 hours at the field every day and our schedules are required to do a 180 every 6 months.  We spend more time apart than we do together but I know that is a small price to pay for him to realize his childhood dreams.

As we delve deep into August, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t ready for the off-season.    While the end is usually bittersweet, it has been a longggggg 5 months and the last month and a half of the season appears retrograde.   I am a little nervous, but a lot excited about what lies ahead as we near September.  This is the time when the wives have to prepare themselves for major decisions about how to move back home or even where to move.    My brain has been running a mile a minute trying to figure out what city we want to live in, whether to lease an apartment or a house, and how the heck we are going to fit everything back in our two cars for the 18 hour drive back to Florida.  Mind you, all these plans can be made and then like a pizza in your face, (inside joke) everything can change….

There are so many details that go into the day-to-day operations of a baseball player’s life and the only real thing the fans “see” is the time they spend on the field, in the batting cages and signing autographs.   All the while, there is a strong woman running the real show, making sure that their lives don’t crumble at the seams.  I’m not saying the guys would lose their heads without us, but I would be interested to see how long they last before they decide they need a personal assistant.     In my days as a realtor, working with many athletes, it is amazing how many of them, do in fact, have PAs…but that is beside the point.   This lifestyle leaves you counting your blessings at night, but it also requires a great amount of glue to hold it together.  Us women, well, you can consider us the glue.  😉

**If you don’t believe me, watch episode 3 of season 2 of Showtime’s “The Franchise.” In this episode, Ozzie Guillen said the smartest thing he ever did was marry his wife, and 30 years later they are still going strong.   Some people may look at all the single guys living it up and think they have it made, but the really smart ones married a woman who takes care of them through the ups and the downs – am I biased? -To each his own. 🙂

“Coming Home”

It was 87 degrees and the sun was shining.   I finally arrived in Miami after a long three months in the northeast and I couldn’t wait to see my family.    I was back in a tropical state and the air felt monumentally different than what I had recently become acclimated to.

Words cannot describe the feelings that being in Miami evokes for me.   This town is not only remarkably beautiful and a worldly melting pot, it is my home.   It will forever be my home regardless of where baseball takes David and me.

This season is the first of many to come (crossing fingers) that I will be on the road with David.   Ever since I can remember, I have said that I would never abandon Miami as my home, despite having to split time every year in two distinct cities.   Being right smack in the middle of baseball season surrounded by all new faces, while in a city that is foreign to me, has been an experience to say the least.   As a result of all that has transpired this year, I have been overcome by the phenomenon change.

Change, in many ways is a great thing.   Although I love deep rooting my claws into the sand, I realize that change is what forces growth and propels us forward.   I have been extremely happy alongside my husband as we venture through this journey called life.   Nevertheless, I will be completely honest and say this – life in Miami was far more comfortable.    David and I had a home that we built; I had recently jumped back into real estate with remarkable success, all the while surrounded by my family.   There is a familiarity to Miami that no one can ever take away from me and every time I return the feelings come rushing back.

Less than a week ago I took a short trip home to Miami.  Since David had just returned from an eight-day road trip a few hours before my flight, I was distraught about leaving.   Still, a part of me couldn’t resist the excitement of being “home” and spending some QT with my parents and sister.  The entire time that I was in Miami I was on the go with barely any time to sleep; I sat in terrible traffic everywhere I went and yet I have an entirely new appreciation for my amazing hometown.   There is nothing “perfect” about Miami, nevertheless, it is a breathtakingly beautiful town with established history and enough culture for a lifetime.   Perhaps I am biased, but I think it is an astounding place to call home.

Before I knew it, I was back on a plane en route to my most recent of “homes.”   I was just as excited to fly back, only this time my excitement for returning was solely in my reunion with my husband and furry children.   In only the 72 hours that I was gone, I had missed my newly established family more than I could have anticipated.   This is a family unit separate from the one that I was born into with my parents at the head, it was now MY family, a family that David and I have created to be our own.

Although we don’t have children yet, I know the time will come very soon.   For now however, our children are our animals.   They warm our hearts and bring us unconditional love beyond measure.   Even though I missed my parents and sister like crazy, I have been managing pretty well going several months at a time without visits.   Prior to this year the roles were reversed; I used to have unlimited visits with my parents who lived only 30 minutes away while seeing David only a handful of times every year.   Up until this point I had built a strong shell that protected me from heartbreak and allowed me to go long periods of time at far away distances.  Somehow though, my shell has completely shattered in regards to David.   I have become used to being by his side, so much so that I loathe being apart.  Regardless of when he leaves for 8 days or 3 days, the distance between us pains me.

I realize that Miami will always be my hometown, but I have come to an even stronger realization that my real HOME will undoubtedly be where my husband is.   I may not always love the city we are in, the roof over our heads or the people that surround us, but none of that matters in comparison to being by David’s side.   David is my home and where my heart is and as long as we are together, I am home.

Thank You My Lovely

I have to say that I am extremely grateful for being nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award.    The best part is that I was nominated by one of myyyy favorite bloggers, MEOW hear this!

The rules to the ONE LOVELY BLOG AWARD are:
•    Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post
•    Share 7 things about yourself
•    Nominate 15 or so bloggers you admire
•    Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

Uhmmm…seven things about me that are not already on my About Me page…

1. I am a Christian but I loveeeee Astrology.   Most people would say that is a paradox but I say NOT!

2. I am a Lover not a Fighter.  I accept You for You regardless of our differences – they are what make us special. 🙂

3. I have a hard time not adopting every homeless animal that I see.

4. I never dreamed of my wedding day, but I have always dreamed of my HOME – Home is where the heart is…and in Baseball, where the Hubby is.

5. I have been dying to learn French since I was 5.  My grandfather knew 7 languages by 42, all self -taught…still hopeful!

6. My legal name is Camelia, not Camille, but I wasn’t aware of this fun fact until I was 15 and ordered a copy of my birth certificate – thanks Mom!

7. As a little girl, my dream was to be a prima ballerina – still kinda is!

On to my favorite Blogs I would like to nominate!  Drum roll please…In no specific order…

Married to Baseball

So I Married a Baseball Player…

Animal Ambassadors, Inc

Kitties + Couture 

RumpyDog

The Ballpark Guide

Healing with Savannah

Kitty Blogger

Everyone Has a Story

Rendezvous with Renee

The Blush

Sadie & Dasie

Black Cat Rescue

Indy Therapy Dog 

Sports-Glutton